Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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