My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
