Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize