She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
