Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
