Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
