farters have to be the big spoon...
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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