Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize