I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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