Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
