I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
