Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
