My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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