i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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