She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
