just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
