1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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