yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
