Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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