grandma shit on top of the toilet
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
