I don't think brook has ever known best
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
We had sex on a dog bed..
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
