You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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