He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
