i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
