Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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