Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
