Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
