Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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