You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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