If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
ok first of all what the fuck
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
