Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
