Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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