Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
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he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
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And my parents said I crawled through the house
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.