Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..