the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i already hear my dad disowning me
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.