I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
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