Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
