Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Can you bring me the toilet please
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Randomize
