i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
