it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
