I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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