do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
