my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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