Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
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I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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