Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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