I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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