I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
