Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
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Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
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and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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