Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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