She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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