Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
