Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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