Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
