Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
