ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
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I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
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I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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