These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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