Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
