Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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