I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Randomize
