and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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