Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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