I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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