Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
My cat gives me a boner
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
