his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
